In the heart of Prague, Czech Republic near the Old Town Square stands SMM—or Sex Machines Museum. Harbored in a three-story 17th-century historic building and housing over 300 exhibits, it is the only museum in the world dedicated solely to sex machines. According to its website, SMM is "an exposition of mechanical erotic appliances, the purpose of which is to bring pleasure and allow extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse.” If you pervs aren’t already logging onto Expedia and looking up round-trip flights to Prague, keep reading.
The museum’s permanent collection contains sexual artifacts dating as far back as the 1600s. Some, like a mechanical erotic theatre from the late 19th century, are whimsically entertaining. Others, like the steam-powered and hand-cranked vibrators, are antiquated enough to make us thank our lucky stars for the battery-operated sex toys we know and love today. Still others, like the assortment of iron corsets, claw-toothed chastity belts, and electrified anti-erection appliances, are so fearsome that they could make even the most upright cock wilt in fear. (Then again, we know some of you are into that sort of thing, so you might feel right at home.) Other items on display point to the timelessness of more specific kinks: there’s a “voyeuristic chamber pot” with an attached mirror that allows the user to watch himself—or somebody else—urinate. There’s even an erotic cinema where spectators can view some of the earliest pornographic films in existence. One of the films, Ladies Cabinet, features one of the first known recordings of a threesome.
A visit to SMM is a fascinating journey through the history of human sexuality, and the evolution of the instruments we’ve been using to get ourselves off for the last five centuries. Whether you’re a student of history, a professional sexologist, or just an average Joe or Jane who enjoys diddling yourself, you’ll be amazed by the huge catalogue of fetish toys, sex furniture and harnesses, and masturbatory aids. And by the end of your visit, we’d be very surprised indeed if you aren’t at least a little hot and bothered.
So what does one do after spending an afternoon at SMM and viewing sex machines throughout history? Why, enjoy some quality time with a sex machine of your own, of course! And unlike the chilly metallic medical vibrators and polished wooden dildos of yesteryear, the options we have to offer are way more sophisticated, sexier, and—dare we say—safer than their forebears. The F-Machine Pro II is remote operable sex machine, fully adjustable to accommodate all positions and angles, and accepts a wide range of interchangeable Doc Johnson silicone attachments. Change the height of the machine for your comfort. Adjust the rhythm and speed of the thrusts until you’re hitting just the right spot. In the mood for more intense stimulation? Simply swap out the standard silicone dong for the Double Penetrator and enjoy twice the fucking with no additional effort.
Our sex machines may not be museum pieces, but their expert craftsmanship is guaranteed to bring you pleasure for years to come!
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